My friend P.J. (Patience Jor­dan) has started a blog and the fol­low­ing is one of her first posts. Right now she is just exper­i­ment­ing– when she gives me the go ahead, I’ll give you a link to it.

Since La Dolce Diva is all about friend­ship, I thought it would be great to share it with you.
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I met my first true love in high school. We did every­thing together! We even went to prom together. Planned our lives out to include one another in every crease and crevice.  But there were riffs now and then. Com­mu­ni­ca­tion was poor and our rela­tion­ship suf­fered greatly, but some­how we always seemed to find our way back to one another. We even­tu­ally moved in together and we were closer than ever and then sud­denly we weren’t. Our lives started to take dif­fer­ent paths and there was a dis­tance that was never there before.  And then I went through one of the most life alter­ing and painful losses of my life and that true love was no where to be found! The love and sup­port that I so des­per­ately needed had ran dry, and I was left to face this tumul­tuous period of my life alone.

Now in read­ing this, you would nat­u­rally assume I am refer­ring to a spouse or lover of some kind, but I am actu­ally refer­ring to my best friend, my girl, my ace! We were best friends for 8 years before it was over and los­ing her was like break­ing up with your man! It could quite pos­si­bly have been worse because this per­son is the per­son who knows the secrets you don’t even tell your man. It was truly painful. After that I was very cau­tious of who I called FRIEND because with that name comes a relationship.

It takes time and vested inter­est to cul­ti­vate a friend­ship much like a rela­tion­ship. Friend­ships are safe havens because while lovers may come and go, friends take the ride with you  through all those rough waters. Their pain becomes your pain. Their joy becomes your joy. And one I was most famous for was,their gripe becomes your gripe.

Our friend­ship ended for a vari­ety of rea­sons, and the best friend that I have now has taught me what uncon­di­tional love and friend­ship looks and feels like.  Much like child­hood rela­tion­ships described as puppy love, you can often look back on child­hood friend­ships and see all that was wrong about it though it felt like every­thing was right.

I per­son­ally believe that I am far bet­ter off now than I was before, but I do think we need to think about our friends and be mind­ful that those rela­tion­ships require a lot of atten­tion as well. Often we take our friends for granted and that is a big mis­take because a true friend is rare, and friends are the fam­ily that we get to choose!

How many times have you looked at a fam­ily mem­ber and said “oh believe me if we weren’t related I would have noth­ing to do with you!” Friends are the peo­ple that you choose to be in a rela­tion­ship with. That means you call when you say you are going to call. It means you show up when they need you, even if they tell you not to come. It means you fly across coun­try when they lose some­one they loved,  just to hold their hand. It’s the fight you have because if you don’t it will effect your rela­tion­ship for­ever, but you know that you are strong enough to sur­vive! Its the birth­day din­ners an hour our of your way, and the 200 dol­lar brides­maid dress that you never will wear again. And you do all this with a smile because you love them enough to be there.

When you find a friend that is worth call­ing a friend, remem­ber to be present in the relationship…I’m just saying!