My friend P.J. (Patience Jordan) has started a blog and the following is one of her first posts. Right now she is just experimenting- when she gives me the go ahead, I’ll give you a link to it.

Since La Dolce Diva is all about friendship, I thought it would be great to share it with you.
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I met my first true love in high school. We did everything together! We even went to prom together. Planned our lives out to include one another in every crease and crevice.  But there were riffs now and then. Communication was poor and our relationship suffered greatly, but somehow we always seemed to find our way back to one another. We eventually moved in together and we were closer than ever and then suddenly we weren’t. Our lives started to take different paths and there was a distance that was never there before.  And then I went through one of the most life altering and painful losses of my life and that true love was no where to be found! The love and support that I so desperately needed had ran dry, and I was left to face this tumultuous period of my life alone.

Now in reading this, you would naturally assume I am referring to a spouse or lover of some kind, but I am actually referring to my best friend, my girl, my ace! We were best friends for 8 years before it was over and losing her was like breaking up with your man! It could quite possibly have been worse because this person is the person who knows the secrets you don’t even tell your man. It was truly painful. After that I was very cautious of who I called FRIEND because with that name comes a relationship.

It takes time and vested interest to cultivate a friendship much like a relationship. Friendships are safe havens because while lovers may come and go, friends take the ride with you  through all those rough waters. Their pain becomes your pain. Their joy becomes your joy. And one I was most famous for was,their gripe becomes your gripe.

Our friendship ended for a variety of reasons, and the best friend that I have now has taught me what unconditional love and friendship looks and feels like.  Much like childhood relationships described as puppy love, you can often look back on childhood friendships and see all that was wrong about it though it felt like everything was right.

I personally believe that I am far better off now than I was before, but I do think we need to think about our friends and be mindful that those relationships require a lot of attention as well. Often we take our friends for granted and that is a big mistake because a true friend is rare, and friends are the family that we get to choose!

How many times have you looked at a family member and said “oh believe me if we weren’t related I would have nothing to do with you!” Friends are the people that you choose to be in a relationship with. That means you call when you say you are going to call. It means you show up when they need you, even if they tell you not to come. It means you fly across country when they lose someone they loved,  just to hold their hand. It’s the fight you have because if you don’t it will effect your relationship forever, but you know that you are strong enough to survive! Its the birthday dinners an hour our of your way, and the 200 dollar bridesmaid dress that you never will wear again. And you do all this with a smile because you love them enough to be there.

When you find a friend that is worth calling a friend, remember to be present in the relationship…I’m just saying!

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 9:49 am and is filed under all, daily diva. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.